My blog's title might have you believe that I write about the passing away of an old friend. In some ways, it is related to this sad event- but it is about something that happened while I was in the ICU, watching him as he slowly faded.
I'd been in and out of the ICU for about 8 hours, trying to do what little I could to help. The hospital ICU was like most other ICUs - a glass pane separating the ward from the rest of the hospital. 2 rows of beds with curtains drawn were all I could see from the outside, and I could also sense that everyone there was on the thin line between life and death. I mean, that's why it's called an intensive care unit, right?
It was while I was in thought about my friend's situation that I was approached by a woman in her early 40s. She wanted to know if I would come and meet her son, one of the ICU patients. I agreed - and she led me to the bed of a young boy who couldn't have been more than 16 years old. His eyes were alert, but the rest if his body seemed inert, paralyzed. His mother introduced us and I saw a smiling flicker of recognition as the boy recognized me. All this while, half my mind was thinking about getting back to my sick friend.
Around 5 minutes into the meeting, I asked her -
"How long has your son been here?"
And my world came to a stand-still when I heard her say -
"8 years."
Now guys, we all have our lives to lead. We all have our goals - be it career, family, money - and we all (me included) spend our lives running a race for the ever-distant future. Sometimes the race gets so involving, we do not hesitate to shout and yell when things do not go our way. Me? If my shot is delayed by an hour, I give my unit hell! One hour! And here I was standing in this dark, quiet ICU, with someone for whom life had frozen for 8 years. 8 years!
I hope you see what I am getting at. This blog is my expression of the age old saying - "Cherish what you have, NOW!" There is no saying what tomorrow brings. All we have is now.
Keep smiling,
Ram
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56 comments:
Hi Ram,
You're right, we should cherish what we have because we never know what tomorrow will bring. Most of us are so engrossed in reaching that extra mile that we never stop to smell the roses. And one day, we might wake up and realise that life has just passed us by!
My children are my pride and joy and I have gone from being a more demanding mother as far as their education is concerned to being a mother who takes pride in their smallest achievements. I have learnt to encourage without demanding or putting pressure on them. And my children can see the difference in me too!
It was good of you to have been with your friend during his final moments. I know personally that it matters a lot to the patient that the people close to him/her are near by and care.
Good luck and take care!
Hey Ram!
What you mentioned in your blog is extremely true! I for one couldn't agree more to it! Even though im just 19, i feel that at times life is just going too fast for me to appreciate the things and people that's in my life. This is indeed really saddening as i feel that without cherishing all these memories, people and things thats happening, I am actually just losing out in the essence of life!
You've got me thinking about how there's more to life then just having to work our asses off to achieve the 5Cs in life!(which i believe is the dream of every single one of us!)
It is everytime when a person close to me falls sick then i will come to realise about death and how fast everything is moving for me.
Well here's a quote that i've just thought of myself to share it to all of you...
“Time is a companion who reminds us to cherish every moment because it will never come again .”
So instead of always racing against time, stop for a while and think about all the things that make your so wonderful! :)
Take Care Everyone
Love,
Shahinaz =)
Hi Ram,
You're so right. I do try to cherish what I have been blessed with right now but sometimes it is so easy to forget. I had one of those moments last night. Your post was a wonderful reminder that we shouldn't sweat the small stuff.
Take care,
Mala
You are so right. We don't appreciate & enjoy what we have & always run after something.
Sometimes talking with my kids or thinking about my own childhood I realsie that its small things which we do together are more important than materialistic things.I am a physician but still work 7-4 . when people ask me why I am wasting my potential I just think about the time I can be there for my kids . All the extra things i cpould have had mean nothing then.
Spending 8 yrs like that must be so hard not only for the boy but for the family.
Dear Ram,
Death of any kind is sad, it means finishing of an era and specially when your friend was so young but I guess this is the way of God. Your post is very touching specially the story of the young boy, meeting people like these makes us realise at times how small and selfish we become when our demands / wishes are not met with. Through such incidents I guess the almighty makes us realise that we should be thankful for what he has given us...Take care of yourself and your family, best wishes, Tinni
HEY RAM,Hope u r doin fine....i was eagerly waiting for ur blog you're right,we must cherish what we have.we never know what life's got for us next....even though im just 17,i think life isnt easy at all...i think along with the boy it must have been very difficult for his family to go through it.coz even my family had to face it when i was 5 and laid in a state of coma for 3 days.a very short period though.but life has to go on......so,jeeo khilkhilao muskurao.kya pata kal ho na ho....u take care and keep smiling loads of love,shruti...
u got tears in my eyes.......
hi ram,
wat u said is soo true..
inspite of having evrything we tend to complain abt things happening in our lives and we tend to forget that god has given us so much...
thanxs for sharing ur experience with us...
may ur friend;s soul rest i peace..
tc,
teenu
When you come across such experiences you feel ashamed about cribbing & complaining about little things.
So often we say its not fair or I wish I was lucky. But when you see people like your friends family or that boy & the family we have no right to complain.
Hi Ram,
I loved your post.. I think it was extremely thought provoking and heart warming. I think its important to cherish what we have today and not always run after the future.
When my mom was detected with cancer and we knew she had little time I realised how important cherishing the present is..I wanted to savour every moment with her just coz I didnt know the future. It made me want to live a life time in every moment.
I think its important sometimes to look around us we are soo fortunate to have what we do coz there are people who are so much less fortunate than we are.. and when we spend time complaining about nitty gritty and minute things we should think of those that dont have 1/4th of what we do. In the rat race of life its important to look around and open our eyes to others.. it truely humbles u and makes u grateful for what you have
Hi Ram,
You're last post really hit home with me, i've recently lost my grandfather and was yesterday only thinking of all the events that happened in a row in the last few months and then how all of a sudden life turned tables and left my family at a dead end, today when i look back at all those precious moments i missed out on just becasue i was too busy doing other things which held little if any meaning, and in that race of doing lots of things I missed out on appreciating the little moments i could've cherished while he was still here with us.
Now i look back with remorse and guilt for how things happened, your words just reinstilled what i've been thinking of for sometime now. I'd just like to add, that we all should not take life for granted! Things come and go, but life once gone cant be resurrected so capture moments as they come!
Love,
Richa.
It made me sad your friend passed away. Life is too short. One can die when one is 1 second old or 110years old. There are no guarantees in life. And no one ever came back after dying to tell us whether there is heaven or hell. So enjoy appreciate, and cherish life while it lasts. We came into this world with no material things and we will leave with none either. Tell our loved ones how how much we love them. Don't procrastinate.
Hi Ram,
WHat you said really was touching. It made me appreciate my life more. Even though we all come across problems, we still need to cherish what we have now just like you said.
Your friend must have been really lucky to have a friend like you. It was really nice of you to be with ur friend when he needed you the most
Take care and all the best
Hi Ram,
Your experience in the hospital is really touching and has moved me too. I can't imagine how my life would be if I were in the boys place. Your right that one should cherish his life and whatever god has given him because we never know when god will take it back. Even though I'm just 16 life has thought me a lot and has made me realise that one should cherish whatever he has.
Your experience at the ICU reminds me of myself three years back when my mon was admitted to the ICU. Even though I was just 13 then, I was the eldest in the family because my dad was abroad and my younger brother was too young to understand anything. I still remember accompanying my mom to the hospital where she was admitted to the ICU. I was alone with no elder to console me. I got so panicky I didn't know what to do. I called up my relatives and waited helplessly outside the ICU for them to arrive. To add to my agony the patient next to my mom passed away . I could hear all his relatives crying with grief. Even though it was just 30 minutes before my grandfather arrived who was followed by all the other relatives those minutes felt like hours and days. Then my dad arrived after a day by the first flight he could catch. I still remember every moment I spent in the hospital and all those terrifying thoughts that came to my mind. After a few days i was told that my mom would soon be absolutely fine and it was the happiest moment of my life.
It was then that i realised how important it is to cherish whatever we have- our life,our parents,our friends, our close ones. Today I am full of gratitude towards god for saving my moms life.
bye and take care,
Priyanka
hi ram
you are absoultly right.your expriense with that young boy is very touching.
we should cherish every moment of our lives but not in complaing and not always running after something.
such expriense remindes us that god has given us so much and we should be thankful.
Take care,
chitra
Hello Ram,
All this while, I hv been a lil sarcastic, dnt knw if u read my post or remember me coz i see u as a star "having a good time perpetually".......and I was like 'he just cherishes praises, hysterics of his fans', thought u were bit lazy and 'all fun - no-sensitivity' type but this post of urs made me realise what you are i.e. A GOOD HUMAN BEING, TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH ALL ENDS.
As for me, I definitely learnt something...'cherish' bit which is cliche but so true.....
thanks and god bless u and ur family
Hey Ram,
that is so true, that is one of the greatest life lessons. i feel so sad about that boy and your friend.love and luck from gagan.
hey ram
that was really nice of you ......being a nurse i think i have felt that everyday ......every moment ........every hour .......life is what you make until you have control if not it will lead you ........so cherish what you have every day every moment every time every second
cheers
narbada(nabsgem)
hey ram
that was really nice of you ......being a nurse i think i have felt that everyday ......every moment ........every hour .......life is what you make until you have control if not it will lead you ........so cherish what you have every day every moment every time every second
cheers
narbada(nabsgem)
Dear Ram,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My condolences to you and his family.I recently lost a relative. She was healthy and then she got cancer and it spread and the next thing I know she passed away. Everything happened so fast. I was also there with her in her final moments.
You are so right, we must cherish what we have now because who knows whats gonna happen, kal ho naa ho. It might be gone the very next day.
Your post has made me very emotional and made me have a different view towards life. I sometimes feel that life is moving very fast and we have no time to enjoy it. Life is too short. We should always forgive and forget.
take care,
nadia
helloooooooooo Ram...hope ur doing fine...really loved ur blog..completely agree with u...we should cherish wat we have...i love u even more for being soo truthful with us...
may ur freind's soul rest in peace
love u
take care
Dear Ram,
I was looking forward to go thr, your blog the day I learned that yu started writing, but some how I missed the same whenever I am on net.
But whatever happens I never miss MR. VALIA.9.P.M CURFEW is declared no body is allowed to make any noise ar distraction. I am watching MR.JAI VALIA emoting even if not delivering dialogues.I have never seen such performance by any actor
on big screen also.
I am not trying to flatter yu but your performance is such there is no word to describe.
Please do write when ever yu have time.I am folLowing your blogs.
ASHOK
First and foremost, condolences to you and your friend's family. May his soul rest in peace.
Secondly, thank you for the comment. My computer has not been feeling too well recently (!), so I checked it just now. For a moment or so, I couldn't quite believe it was you. I rechecked and it was actually YOU! Thank you so much, a very sweet gesture indeed! I am really touched!
As for your very beautiful post, it's definitely a very big lesson. Being thankful for what you have is very important. But frankly, atleast for me, I remember what to do and how to be, but maybe somewhere in the humdrum of life, it gets lost. I don't know why, it just seems to fade away and I am back to my original self? But I know that's bad, I try not to do it nowadays.
I'd like to narrate an incident. My friend had a fight with her father one night. It was a really big one. The next morning, he didn't get up. He never got up. I remember that day. It's been more than a year now, but that incident has left such a big imprint on me.
I once got an email forward. It said, there are two departments in heaven. One gets many letters and the other very few letters. The one that gets many is the want deptt, where people ask for all that they want. The other is the gratitude deptt, where people thank for all that they've got. Before sleeping, even if we send a prayer across to the universe thanking all the people who've helped us through the journey, it's enough.
Thank you so much for handling such a big lesson with such ease. I am glad you are not using your blog for any mudslinging (it seems to be fashionable these days!). It's being used for a good purpose. It's people like you who can send across a message because people will listen to you, they respect you and will follow you.
Thank you so much! Really!!
Love
Tara
(Pretty long comment!)
Har Ghadi Badal Raha Hai Roop Zindagi
Chaav Hai Kahhi Hai Dhoop Zidnagi
Har Pal Yahan
Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama
Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Ghadi Badal Raha Hai Roop Zindagi
Chaav Hai Kahhi Hai Dhoop Zidnagi
Har Pal Yahan
Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama
Kal Ho Na Ho
this is the first song that comes to my mind & helps me remind to be satisfied with what i hav in my life and gives a message to enjoy our life till the fullest..........
thanks ram for giving such a sweet & true message to us.
tc,
teenu
I started crying when I read your entry, Ram. My best friend, practically my sister, died late last year and I have been such a mess without her. It is experiences like this that really make such a difference in how we approach our everyday lives. We have to stop and realize that every single day is such a gift. We (all of us!) get so caught up in trying to be bigger, better and more successful that we forget about what is truly important.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. He, his family and friends are all in my prayers.
Hey Ram,
Hope you are doing fine. It’s really sad to hear about your friend. May his soul rest in peace & God gives enough strength to his family.
Really agree with what you said. We should always cherish what we have & should also try to get happiness from the smallest things in life too. Always try to do so but you know what hurts most is that our own people doesn’t understand this & always expect more than they are getting. And can also go to any extent to get what they want. :(
It’s really nice of you to be with your friend in his final time. :)
Ba’bye, Take Care
Adii
I think it's sad that it takes something that drastic for us to realize the importance of time. Most of us are living fast-paced lifes and are busy doing this and that, not realizing that the time we are spending this and that could be the last time itself. Every day we wake up, it's a new beginning - but it can also be the end. That's a fact - it's a way of life. But we forget that and take things for granted. Every morning before I head out to work, I make sure that I appreciate the finer things in life - time with my husband and kid.
Hii Ram,
ur last post really hit me. u r so rite when u said u should cherish what u have now as u never no what 2morrow might bring. i totally agree with that. i feel sorry 4 that boy and his family though. i mean 8 years is a lot. but it was good that u were doing all u can 2 help ur friend during his last moments.
take care,
Kiran
hey ram,loved your slide show pics....it was lovely to see u smile in the show after so long.... u've got a great smile so, keep smiling.......can u paaaleeeeezzz tell me your birthdate.......bye,take care.....
Hi, Ram
Didn't notice the slide show pictures earlier. They are great . Thanks for posting it.
Nice pictures Ram.
Please add some of yours withGautami & Sia too.
Ram,
loved the new pictures in the slideshow, really shows with you around everyone always has huge simile on their face.very cute.
preet:)
Hi Ram,
I too didn't notice the slide show.The pictures are great! Thanks for posting them. You really look great with a smile on your face,so always keep smiling.
Bye,Take care
Priyanka
Hi Ram,
Lovely pictures in the slideshow! You have a wonderful smile.
Take care and best wishes.
nice pics!!
pls put sum pics of gautami n sia......
teenu
I think this whole show - kasam se is a psychotic show. You people in tv business take audience to be stupid suckers an dkeep on doling out trash in name of entertainment. It is disgusting. It is dishonest. It is cheap an dit is easy money for you.
Tell me is this man Subhash JEEEEE
who own this Zee Tv taks active role in making of these idiotic shows? If he does he should be ashamed of himself. This guy is from a small town in haryana - Hissar and tell us taht he cam eto mumbai with 15 rupees in his pocket! and he arose to become the chief of this entertaintment empire. Let me tell him. You have a twisted sense. In all of your Zee Tv shows you make all women to be scheming, plotting, manipulative, disgusting creatures. This theme runs in all of your tv shows. You are a sick man, Sir Subhash Jeeee. We rarely see you in public with your womenfolk., Why?
All womenfolk are not plotting, scheming, bitchy. There are a lot of nice , decent, good hearted women in India.
If not you who is making these mentally sick Tv shows?
These shitty tv shows bring a bad name to our culture. You need to leave Sir, From this Tv business.
Dear Ram
I feel I know where you are coming from. We are all running and running and running; sometimes we don’t even know where we are going.
The title of your post is something my Mother used to say a lot - that we should value what we have at this moment and realise it’s importance. Otherwise a stage will definitely come when we would be able to do nothing but lamet for lost time, lost love, lost relations, lost feelings, lost emotions et al. This same feeling have hounded me for the past 10 years after Mom passed away. Today, what would I not have done to make her happy. But alas!
I would also like to applaud the courage of the young boy and his Mother.
My heartfelt condolences to you and your friend’s family on his loss. May his soul rest in eternal peace!
Thanks for being sensitive …
Sorry to hear about your friend....
Hey Ram,
Really sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts and prayers are with his friends and family. The experience you have shared really makes you realize what's important in life and all the little things we stress about seem so meaningless. Thanks for sharing. I feel really blessed for having a happy and healthy family.
cheers,
Indrani
HI!
THISID DEEPIKA (DINA) ITS TRUE THAT WHAT WE HAVE GOT WE MUST TAKE IT AS IT IS GIVEN TO US BY GOD SINCE I A BEING AB HANDICAP GIRL AS I NEVER MENTIONED THIS TO U EARLIER I DONT KNOW WETHER U REMEMBER ME OR MY NAME AS I HAVE BEEN WRITING MY COMMENTS TO U EARLIER ALSO I HAVE TAKE IT AS GODS GIFT FIRST I USED TO FEEL VERY SORRY 4 MY SELF FOR ME BEING AN HANDICAP BUT LATER I REALISED THAT I HAVE TO STAY LIKE THIS 4 MY WHOLE LIFE SO WHATS THE USE OF COMPLAINING AND CRYING THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME AND I HAVE TO ACCEPT IT AS HIS WISH....................
omgggggggggggggggggggggg..the pics uv posted r sooooooooooo damn cute...n funny..iv already seen them 20 times..lol
loveddddddddddddd them...more plees...cant get enough of u
i love reading all your blogs. every single one of them has a meaning to it. we can tell you have written about stuff which is close to you by the one you are writing. i hope to see more of your blogs soon till then i will be watching you on tv. kasamh se is as great as ever. when prachi desai first left i thought the programme quality would go down but it hasn't. it's as good as ever. thank you for blogging once again.
I say all zeee tv shows show women as scheming, manipulative, women and when foreigners watch out tv shows they get th eimpression that all our Indian women are like that.
I am going to be honest. Do not take it personally. You are not a handsome man, you are below average in looks.
Now you are obese.
Could you tell us what your waist size is? I guess it is above 40 inches.
How much money do you make by doing 1 kasam see show?
Is that money worth your health?
you will have health issues later on.
Prachi is not beautiful, your new wife is okay lokking - gurdeep kohli. She looks okay with makeup.
But she has always has that sad, desperate look.
Finally your son has started to act better.
Still why don't you guys get this -look shouting is not acting. It is very irritable and people who don't know how to act shout when saying their lines.
Do you guys practice at all before doing this "acting" I will call it "shouting" from now on.
Show some emotion that corresponsd to situation at hand in your shallow tv dramas.
All Zee tv, all sony tv shows are similiar.
But there is a difference.
Sony Tv ladies are uglier.
Why are there so many ugly women in Tv shows?
What has happened to beautiful women in India?
Where have they gone?
What you said was totally true. Just last week I experienced a life/death situation. There was a sudden explosion in my building causing several people on my floor to get hurt and have their apartments burned to pieces. We had to stay out of the building for a week and we got to go back in just recently. It gives me nightmares to think about the fact that the explosion could have happened in any part of the building. It could've been my family in the hospital with serious burns all over their body. Thank god we're not and I will thank god every day for the new life they gave me after that incident. On the day of the explosion I had posted a comment on RPR.com about the "Cherish what you have" blog that you posted. I talked about how I've never faced such a situation where I've lost a loved one or had any type of heartbreaking situation. I also talked about my friend whose father died on the day of the September 11 attacks and how hard it was for her. God has given us so much but sometimes we never take the time to look at what we have. Instead we spend too much time pondering over what we want or what we should have. We need to be thankful for what we have and cherish the things we have because you never know what might happen in the future. A perfectly peaceful day on your computer can lead to a week without a home and with tears in your eyes.
Hey Ram, i jus came on to check if u have posted ur latest blog...but wat catched my were those new pics u put...i have to say they r very nice...tc xxx
Hey Shahinaz... so you thought of that quote about cherishing every moment all by yourself? Looks like the movie Star Trek: Generations ripped you off, lol... ;o)
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hiiiiiii i m ur big fan pls u r meet me my email id is mansi.sharma1230@gmail.com
i miss u ram and i love u so much now what r u doing in this days any programme or films pls tell me i m ur big big and big fan agar aapki shadi na hui hoti toh main kar layte i love u ram t.c
hiiiiiii i m ur big fan pls u r meet me my email id is mansi.sharma1230@gmail.com
i miss u ram and i love u so much now what r u doing in this days any programme or films pls tell me i m ur big big and big fan agar aapki shadi na hui hoti toh main kar layte i love u ram t.c
hiiiiiii i m ur big fan pls u r meet me my email id is mansi.sharma1230@gmail.com
i miss u ram and i love u so much now what r u doing in this days any programme or films pls tell me i m ur big big and big fan agar aapki shadi na hui hoti toh main kar layte i love u ram t.c and u tell me that aap kab shooting karengey
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